Sunday, December 28, 2008

Closing the Year TWOTHOUSANDGREAT the Way It Began

... the way each and every day begins: with sweeping class stereotypes! I spent two years working in the Soundview neighborhood of the Bronx and one year living in the Upper East Side, just like Gossip Girl! I studied each the respective creatures in their natural habitats, and had the delight of realizing that which unites greatly outweighs that which divides. Here are my empirical findings:

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Your Holiday Gift Guide 2008

Ok last minute shoppers, I have answered your holiday prayers! Yeah right, you know you spent your last seven dollars on US Weekly and a tall boy, naughty readers. But look no further than Casey Stamps on 11th street in the East Village. For a nominal fee, this god of a man/ national treasure will scan just about anything into a a stamp for stamping. But to give fair warning, walking into this store is walking into the impenetrable thought process of an Irish ne'er do well, with a penchant for drink and sleeping in. This personality type thrives in the retail custom stamp business.

...and here is a example of his handiwork! A customized stamp of one's own visage brings equal amounts confusion, joy, and disbelief to the recipient. For the giver, it is nothing but a self- congratulatory jerk off that you were so clever and organized as to give a truly thoughtful gift. Next Christmas, I will give my lovlies a stamp of my own face.

from left to right: Pup, Stalker, an alcoholic, a blowup doll