Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Crickets and Flies

A fly flew inside my ear in a tragic hiking accident over the summer. I'm pretty sure it flew out, like 85% sure, but I was still feeling this watery, fluttery sensation in my right ear. Probably just a psychological or whatever, but I convinced myself that this fly inside my brain was throwing off my already poor inner ear. I was dizzy and bumping into things, people, hotmasters...doctor?Luckily, I had an annual gynecological exam coming up, so I figured I'd just wait until then and keep rubbing up against things, I mean, bumping into things in the mean time.

How do you ask a gynecologist, who traditionally looks inside your vagina, to look inside you ear instead? Because you are convinced there is a fly doing the waltz in your gray matter? For like three weeks? A cleverly constructed joke request would do the trick! This is what I came up with on my ride to the Upper East Side, and I think I may have actually written it down on a receipt or something:

A fly has flown inside my ear.
Though not your orifice of expertise,
it is an orifice nonetheless.
Would you mind taking a peek?

Crickets my friends, crickets. And I will never have an opportunity to tell this joke again, so I share it with you here now. This stone faced robogyno just stared daggers at me for like 10 seconds, which is about the same amount of time she usually spends inspecting me. She did not look inside my ear. I continue to fall forlornly into the laps of attractive men. Afterall, my fly and I have always depended on the kindness of strangers, not gynecologists.

1 comment:

zoe said...

orifice of expertise. ay carumba.