Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Puerto Rican sensation pictured above is why I may never have a well- adjusted adult relationship with a man due to an unrealistic standard he has set on love, or el amor. Chock full of conceits that would make Petrarch ditch Laura for J.Lo, Marc Anthony's album "Sigo Siendo" is the ultimate Latin Love Letter to the world and to women... that powerful voice he conjures through his skinny little throat, "que precio tiene cielo?" Those googly eyes! That strong jaw line! His vast forehead! Marc Anthony, lovelorn and tortured lyrics or not, is the dictionary definition of ugly hot. My friends challenge me on this one constantly, but Marc Anthony is like doubly hotmaster because he is so weird looking, like a handsome hobbit or something. Ugly hot is so much more interesting and unexpected than hot hot, like Brad Pitt or whoever. M. Ant is my number one baby daddy.
Another example of ugly hot, if you're just not getting it: Michael Rappaport. Yes he has beady eyes and ginger hair, and in this picture he looks like he should be among the mentally challenged people that Diane Arbus photographed, but he does have a certain twinkle behind those baby blues. Marc Anthony has lo romántico, but Mr. Rappaport has the funny. He has that wild abandon and wigger swagger often associated with white boys from Dorchester or the Bronx, mixed in with a simpleton's joie de vivre. He breaks my heart in Mighty Aphrodite, with his desires for a girl with class and values, and makes me laugh til I cry when he calls his friend "douche douche" in Kicked in the Head. And if Spike Lee and Woody Allen have adopted this unusual but fabulous man as their male muse, he can't be all ugly, but a little bit of hot. Ugly hot, so much more satisfying.